As she reflects on the past ten years of her post-grad career, Renee Zhan AB ’16 has a lot to be proud of. She grew up in Texas and was always interested in painting and drawing, but her parents discouraged her from attending an art school for college. So Renee ended up at Harvard, where she found an incredible community of other artists, writers, filmmakers, and animators.

“I wanted to be either a painter or an animator,” Renee says. “I ended up concentrating in VES [Visual and Environmental Studies], as it was called back then.” Her senior thesis, which Renee describes as a huge shock to her parents, was a short film called HOLD ME (CA CAW CA CAW) that screened at SXSW and won the Grand Jury Prize at Slamdance for Best Animated Short. After graduating, Renee received a Postgraduate Traveling Fellowship and moved to Japan.

“I did a two-month hiking trip from Tokyo to Kyoto, and it was the first time I'd ever done anything like that.” Renee recalls. “I ended up making a film about it called RENEEPOPTOSIS, and it's about three Renees who go on a quest to find God, who is also Renee.” That short ended up winning the 2019 Sundance Jury Prize for Best Animated Short. 

After all her festival successes, Renee went on to attend the National Film and Television School in the UK for her master’s degree. “I've been experimenting with different mediums of animation, like stop motion, which is big here in the UK, and live action,” Renee notes. Currently, she’s excited about mixed media, particularly live action with pieces of animation throughout. “I like that kind of clunky feel and that handmade thing. I think it's really timeless, in a way.” Renee smiles. “What's great about animation is you can really build your own world, and that, to me, is probably the most exciting part of it. Creating a very unique place. Like, my stop-motion film is about a woman who turns into a black hole. What was exciting about that was imagining what a black hole might look like on the inside, because no one really knows, so we really had a lot of freedom to invent.”

The incredible originality of a film about a woman turning into a black hole is one of so many creative ideas that felt like the story Renee needed to tell at the time she told them. “It really has to be something that feels meaningful to me, worthwhile to me to spend two, three, four, even five years of my life on. And it has to be something where I feel like I can learn something, or improve myself through making the film.” Renee muses. “They are all very personal. Usually they come from a personal experience, or images… I think often the first idea for a film will be an image.”

In terms of marketability, that was never something Renee considered in her early filmmaking days. “Now, I think filmmaking should be something that we can pay our rent from. It shouldn't be something that we do for free. It's not a hobby to me,” she states. “Now, I'm really trying to figure out, how can I make this sustainable? How can I reach an audience? Making films is a way of connecting with people, and a way of sharing something that someone can relate to, or feel comforted by, or feel freaked out by.”

The best compliment she ever got, Renee laughs, was, “this really scathing Letterboxd review where they said, ‘The quality of the live action is way too high for the animation. It looks really bad, and the live action looks great.’ And I was like, ‘That's so nice, because I think the animation looks pretty good, that’s where I’m confident.’” It was the live action piece Renee had been worried about in that film, and clearly, it was well-executed. 

Plus, a strong reaction from audience members, whether good or bad, is what inspires Renee at the end of the day. “I really hope that they feel something, whether it's joy, or disgust, or even hatred,” Renee reflects. “I really like reviews that are good or very bad. Either one really tickles me. If someone is unbothered by my work at all, that's the worst thing for me… I hope that people can find something that feels relatable, or funny, or just some kind of connection.”

Thematically, the common thread throughout her films, Renee describes, is “the transition from girlhood to womanhood… What does it mean? And what will it eventually entail?” The other key component to her work is questions or thoughts that are haunting her. “What is it that I can't stop thinking about? What is it that I'm questioning about my own life and trying to figure out?” She says. 

This goes hand in hand with the most memorable piece of advice Renee has ever received, from Harvard Visiting Faculty member Athina Tsangari. “She spoke about this much more eloquently than I'm about to, but she said the most important thing is making films about your obsessions, and following that path of what’s bothering you. What is it that's running in circles in your head, and trying to figure that out,” Renee remembers. 

In terms of her advice for others, one thing Renee says is not necessarily mandatory is going to film school, although it can be an appealing place to meet collaborators and hone your craft. “I definitely don't think you have to go to film school. What's unique about what we do is that there's not one set path that you follow. There are so many different ways to make films, and so many ways that you can succeed or fail… The best thing about film school is that you meet people who think the same way as you, and who you probably will end up working with for the rest of your life.” 

The second piece of advice Renee has about the industry is her emphasis on being true to oneself in the artmaking process. As a self-defined “weird” creative, Renee explains, “To me,  being weird means being yourself, making things that feel true to you, and if it feels true enough to you, then it will inevitably be different than what feels true to everyone else. So then it will be weird, it will be different, it'll be unique. There was definitely a time in my life, especially at film school, when being weird was a negative thing.” So now, Renee is trying to rewrite that narrative against “weird” and reinforce the importance of how it belongs in the film industry. 

As for her favorite films, growing up, she and her dad used to watch THE SOUND OF MUSIC frequently because it was always playing on cable, and that holds a special place in her heart. In terms of animation, when asked her favorite, “Studio Ghibli,” Renee immediately laughs. “It's a boring, obvious answer, but it's also the right answer.”

Moving forward, Renee is hoping to continue on in horror, where she is right now, and then return to make content for younger audiences. “I've been thinking recently about how the reason I love THE SOUND OF MUSIC is because I watched it when I was so young, and I've been thinking a lot about how important films for kids are, because the stuff that we watch when we're young, it's so powerful. It really stays with you…. and I'd like to circle back around and make something that is meaningful for all audiences.” What might this look like in an ideal world? “If everything I made could be a musical, that'd be amazing,” Renee grins. “I can't wait to make my next musical. With every project that I start, I ask myself at some point, ‘Should this be a musical?’ So far, the answer is no, but I have another musical idea planned.” So, musically inclined audiences, stay tuned for more!